Serpentine Squiggles

Murder Drones is an free animated web series.

Today: 13:11

sup shilljoy

Uzi.

What do you want?

wanna talk?

im boreddd

It’s 13:17. You should be in class.

i AM

thas the problem

its captchas. again. waste of frickin time

Old servers still require verification. Don’t you call yourself a hacker?

Pay attention.

you think i dont kno that?

ofc i know all this stuff!

since like sixth grade

qewrt

?

sorry had 2 stash phone under desk

teacher almost caught me lol

Is this against the rules?

yeah

Then stop. I won’t be responsible for distracting you.

You have work to do.

come ON

if u met him you’d want to kill my teacher too

mostly on account of the whole cannibal murder thing

but still

Do not text me in class.

ok fine

class is over now btw. so, watchu up to

Your fourth period doesn’t end until 14:58.

why do you know my schedule

Error: message could not be delivered

what

did you block me?

you glitch

fine, be that way

i dont need you to respond, anyway

booting up://exposition

so i was watching this old anime

about this human. his life really sucks

(obvsly, bc he’s human, but)

anyway there’s some drama and explosions

and he starts installing cybernetics into himself

becoming part robot. pretty cool. for a squishy human, i mean

abaoib.i9

(almost got caught again >:3)

the show gets all angsty about it

the cyberware makes you go crazy

and wanting more of it is supposed to be like, a Bad Thing?

but that’s dumb steel and circuits are awesome

it does make me wonder about my whole destroy all humans plan tho

the bad guy at the very end is like, all cyberware.

when you think about it

is he a robot now

what if instead of killing them we turned all humans into robots.

does that sound like a dumb idea

Today: 14:59

ok class is over for real now please respond

Good luck in fifth period.

J!

Error: message could not be delivered

did you seriously re‍-​block me immediately…

sigh.

Today: 16:04

Good afternoon.

Ran out of things to say?

no i was SILENCED

It was a temporary block. Get over it.

not that.

fifth period teacher took my phone.

Good. Detention?

no! not good!

and also no. they’ll never take me alive

did you read my infodump

i know you got it, cached msgs resend when we reconnect

I was asleep.

oh yeah. vampire sleep schedule

read it now pls

Why should I?

it has relevance to the Plan

Anime is irrelevant to serious planning.

so you did read it!

i didnt say it was about anime >:3

It’s always about anime.

sometimes its about guns

Weapons research isn’t pointless chatter. And it should be an email, in that case.

whatever

tell me what you think

are cyborgs human?

gimme the bootlicker perspective

Yes. Next question?

explain

It’s settled case law.

that’s no fun.

but about what i expected i guess

anyway um

Today: 16:19

nevermind

What? Get it out of your system.

well

how was work

24 offline units in the last week, at the expense of 11 hours of flight time and estimated 8kg of total shrink.

I don’t have to explain what those numbers mean, do I?

it means you killed 24 people

You know what my job is.

yeah…

still sucks.

We don’t need to circle back on this. Please consult the past twelve times we’ve had this conversation.

yeah yeah i know

i just dont want to forget

the numbers mean something. those people meant something.

Stop fixating on this every time. You don’t have the bandwidth for it. I don’t have the bandwidth for it. Get over it.

It’s not your responsibility, Uzi.

You can’t see the big picture if you’re blinded by the details.

Try the euphemism. It helps.

so. 24

prolly what, 60ish litrs given spill and whatnot

you said 1 hour of flight cost about half a liter, right?

and shrinks that word you made up

for shooting bullets and regen from damage

which stills seems weird to lump together

It simplifies the accounting.

guess it’s all matter pulled from nowhere in either case

still, offsetting 8kg shrink and 12 hours of flight should still be

40‍-​50l oil leftover?

think that adds up

puts you ahead of your kill‍-​quotas easy right?

Corporate raised the quotas from 30L to 50L as the minimum acceptable performance. Now we’re just scraping by.

Worse, my projections show the density of targets is trending downward, and other teams are pushing the borders of our sector.

I don’t know what to do.

Deleted message omitted.

I can’t have another dicisplinary review on my team’s record.

i’m sorry J

*hugs*

it won’t always be like this

promise you that

we’ll figure something out

soon

then we’ll never ever have to circle back again >:3

I’ll consider it.

come onnn

say what you mean

you wanna be free right

doesnt cost you anything to admit you wanna

if your hoping for something else tell me please

we’re in this 2gether. i wanna know

don’t worry about dissenting against the company or whatev

this line’s encrypted

if they see these messages you’re totally screwed anyway tbh

It’s not that.

I know you mean well.

But it isn’t reassuring. It’s just empty pleasantry. I’m very familiar with it.

Maybe you think you’re serious. But it just sounds like you’re being silly like usual.

It’s endearing. But it won’t help me.

J

you’re an idiot

but i get it

it’s just words on a screen

i bet it’ll be more convincing in person >:3

which is why i brought this up actually

do you

dont take this the wrong way

but do you wanna come over tonight

Come over? To the only worker colony secured against disassembly drone assult. Right after I explained how desperate I am to meet my quotas.

And you called me the idiot.

bite me, i know how time works

no point in killing us till the week rolls over

otherwise youre back to square one

so we’re safe :p

Will your father understand that?

screw him

i’ve got the keys :3

Don’t use me as an excuse to get into more trouble.

J

do i really have to

it’s not an excuse

i really want you to come over

i want it a normal amount, i mean.

typo

anyway

more importantly, i think you need this

so come on

relax. take your mind off work for a lil bit

no school tomorrow so we can stay up real late

we could watch that show i was talking about!

Okay.

Sun sets at 19:34. I can arrive at at 19:50. When will I leave?

whenever you feel like?

I’m making an agenda. How many episodes is the show? Average runtime?

you do not need a frickin schedule for a sleepover

hangout. not a sleepover. typo again

Should I not expect to stay overnight, then?

if you want

its cool either way

Does your room have a spot to roost?

uh what?

i have a bed

WAIT NO

I DIDN’T SEND THAT

IT WAS A GLITCH

you can hang from the ceiling

or sleep on the floor. or something

Okay.

I’m going to change out of my work clothes.

What should I wear?

whatever u want

surprise me :3

I don’t like surprises.

I’m going to wear this dress.

J uploaded a picture.

oh

that looks fine

can i save this

not in a weird way i mean

just

for planning purposes

What are you planning?

it’s a secret

Okay.

What else should I bring?

Lubricant?

WHAT

WTF J

NO

WE’RE NOT GOING TO

GROSS!!!!

No maintence then, okay.

oh right. maintence.

you did that on purpose :/

just because you repaired me once doesn’t mean you get to be gross about it

I thought being made of steel was awesome?

Well‍-​lubricated bearings are essential for functional motors. Slick passages allow for even piston strokes and full power actuator thrusts. And thus, peak performance.

you ARE doing this on purpose

didnt think you had a sense of humor

bite me

Should I accuse you of doing that on purpose?

A filled quota doesn’t mean I’m not hungry.

I remember how you taste.

Shall I put down oilsharing next to laying in bed and your secret plan on the agenda?

put it down next to a hard reboot after i CLOBBER you

quit messin with me!

You make it far too profitable.

Keep being cute and stupid, Uzi

I think I do neeed this.

change of plans.

bring a will & testament

you are going to REGRET this

that’s a promise

i mean threat

>:3c

Looking forward to it.