Serpentine Squiggles

I think this sort of refusal and second guessing is blocking you from understanding the spirit.

Writers habitually overestimate how boring descriptions are and underestimate how helpful the specific grounding is. Personally, I’m pretty often wishing for more specification when I read amateur writing.

And this feeling you have that it isn’t accomplishing anything is self‍-​fulfilling‍ ‍‍—‍ if underwriting is a problem you have, then you probably aren’t spending a lot of time on detailed descriptions, and because you’re not spending a lot of time on detailed descriptions, you have less practice writing them.

You have to add the right details; but of course, adding the wrong details is how you refine your understanding of what the right ones are.

It’s fashionable these days to dismiss “show, don’t tell” as bad advice, but one of benefits of strict adherence is that if you truly believe you must show instead of telling, then you’re always motivated to find the most effective way to show instead of shrugging and saying this telling is good enough, blinding you to non‍-​obvious yet more effective approaches‍ ‍‍—‍ no, to survive like that you’re forced to get good at writing in a more detailed yet still effective way. This is the asylum I was raised in.

I do find it strange and telling that your first thought when tempted to add more detail is to worry it’ll be useless bloat‍ ‍‍—‍ to me, it’s obvious that detail is everything. Deeper characterization, stronger setup, more exciting climaxes.

I assume you’ve seen my essays discussing why scenes are long and what detail accomplishes, so I guess what I’ll try to do is turn those principles into practical diagnostics.

(Oh, and Make sure the reader knows who is speaking. This joke means nothing to you right now but it’ll be funny in a few months.)

The first several points on this list are for punching up individual lines, but the last two or three are more structural considerations.

Foreshadowing could mean that you add a single line mentioning the gun on the wall, or it could mean adding a whole page of back and forth dialogue setting up a confrontation later on.

In the essay linked at the start, I have this concept of throughlines. Characters talking to each other is one throughline, but it’s also how one character relates to the environment, or their running interal commentary and emotional reactions.

You can graft a new throughline into a scene‍ ‍‍—‍ dig into what deliberations run through a character’s head, or give them some activity to engage with while they converse (the infamous walk and talk :^). And of course these throughlines should interact and interfere…

To try and wrap this all up: one of things I’ve settled on as the core of storytelling is anticipation. And through that lens, every line you add to a scene should either serve to create or increase the readers’ anticipation for what’s to come, or to satisfy them and fulfill that promise.

And everything I’ve suggested really comes back to that. You have to look at what you’ve written and figure out: what is the reader supposed to get out of this? How can you make it clearer what they’re supposed to anticipate? How can you compel them to want to see it? And how do you ensure they feel it in all its glory?

You look at one line and go, this line was added to set up that. You look at another and go, that line was added to pay off this.

And that, I would say, is the spirit you’re looking for‍ ‍‍—‍ tying everything together.