- 2026-04-01
when i was a teenager, i made some serious changes to my keyboard layout. i turned the caps lock into a control key, that’s a classic, but for symmetry, i also made the enter key into a control key, putting enter itself on one of the keys labeled control, don’t remember which. the other was probably escape.
i swapped the parentheses on shift+9 and shift+0 with those fancy curly quotes you sometimes see. but then how did i type parenthesis? simple: if i pressed shift and released it without hitting another key, that inserted a parenthesis.
i don’t even remember how i did that
- i definitely had a way to insert an em dash but i don’t remember what it was
- maybe i just use the alt gr key
- 2026-04-01
somehow, this year isn’t going that badly for me. i don’t have high hopes, obviously everything is going to fall apart soon, but right now, so far, i’ve been trucking along well.
here’s a fun stat: i have published as many posts — fics, blogs — in the first three months of this year as i have across the entirety of 2025.
the comparison isn’t entirely fair — early last year i put out a big update to my game, pushro v0.8, and late last year i coded up a scheme for implementing cyoas and visual novels on ao3 and then did nothing with it. (i’ve done some programming this year, too, but nothing more substantive than fiddling with the site scripts)
it’s also a different story if you look at wordcounts. last year still eeks out a win in the wordcount department (96k this year, 119k last year, or a bit less if you discount the first draft of HT i published), mostly because the recent stream of posts has nothing on the handful of chonky megaposts i dropped. but still — not bad work for 1/4 of the time!
looking back, i burned out in 2024, but i think nature is healing
- global economic collapse-shaped shadow looming behind me:
- 2026-04-01
- reaching out to pick up my mug of tea and being startled by the weight because i truly believed in my heart that it was not empty
- 2026-04-02
- word count rpg
- 2026-04-02
- despite all my rage i am still a writer before a blank page
- 2026-04-02
- sometimes i think, what if i wrote a juzi au where they’re both chrylurks. then i remember oh right that’s literally what Qyverna & Aoffe are
- 2026-04-02
one of the more annoying dilemmas i’m faced with is how long a should snippet has be before it deserves its own page
i have idea-fragments only a few sentences long. obviously these just be listed off on a miscellany page
i have shorts stories thousands of words long. obviously these get their own page
but where’s the cut off?
consider the i did last month. for about a week i wrote a short every day
those are word counts. so the third one feels long enough it merits its own page, but should it be extricated from the sequence?
tellingly, the fifth and six entries were even longer and those were immediately put in their own pages.
the last one on that page isnt even really a part of the same grouping, it was written near the end of month, albeit at least in the same spirit as the others.
how the hell do i organize this elegantly… ._.
- 2026-04-03
- all of the headlines about how llm use degrade cognition & impair reasoning & manipulate emotions are pretty spooky, but you gotta admit it’s pretty fertile ground to eroticize. imagine an evil ai woman doing that to you
- 2026-04-04
we need to invent a good holiday for april 3.
Trans Day of Visibility followed by April’s Fools followed by World Autism Awareness Day followed by nothing followed by World Rat Day
the coolest type of girl deserves at least five days in a row dedicated to parts of herself
- 2026-04-04
- writing every day and still feeling like a failure
- 2026-04-04
- wanted to say lowkey but i was sadposting so i said low E
- 2026-04-05
- it’s amusingly appropriate — i swear i didn’t plan or intend this — that today of all days is when i’m writing the most explicitly ovi of the vercat shorts so far
- 2026-04-06
- the way oviposition is typically done is pretty conceptually funny ngl. unf i’m so full of eggs… hey can you hold these for me real quick? i’ll be right back
- 2026-04-06
there’s that one popular thread about how remarkable it is that wikipedia included a lovingly crafted example image depicting age gap yuri of its own subsidiary organizations in the shipping discourse article
but i wonder if tumblr is ready for the fact that a real wikipedia article has an image with this caption:
An example of hardcore clop—a Wikipe-tan ponification depicted with an ahegao-expression, using unicorn magic (rendered in neon blue) to telekinetically spread her vulva in an eroticized manner. The text “public domain” inscribed on the pony’s buttocks functions as a double entendre referencing the free-use sexual fetish.
- and it’s so fucking good btw
- 2026-04-06
at this point i’m growing to have more respect (appreciation, even) for people who, when pitched a piece of media (even my own writing!) will just say no actually, i don’t think i’m going to check that out.
we all have miles-long lists of things we need to check out, and in practice “i’ll get to it later” means “never.”
there’s this compelling illusion that well, even with an intimidatingly long list of everything you want to watch and read and listen to, if you’re just really diligent about crossing things off every day, eventually you’ll get around to everything, tens and hundreds and thousands of recs
but even if you’re uncommonly committed and organized, this calculation is static — the stream of new media is vast and never ending. by the time you’ve gone through even a dozen things you mean to check out, you’ll have encountered dozens of more. and some of them will pique your interest far more! (if nothing else, they’ll be fresher in mind, more topical)
i don’t think it should be a list. it’s more like inventory slots, a working memory of things that are the most immediately interesting. most of the time, you don’t have any room to pick up something new, unless it’s promising enough to swap with something old
so yeah. there’s an honesty to saying “nah, i probably won’t, sorry.”
even if you think you might, you can always surprise them later!
- 2026-04-07
- the downside of people not sending letters or emails as much anymore is that the energy of ending your message then “p.s. and another thing” feels lost to us
- 2026-04-07
- this morning i read The Scales of Seduction by Rien Gray, a snake yuri erotica novella set in greek myth au where medusa wins against perseus. protag is a trans basilisk warrior who ends up encountering n falling for her. it’s p awesome, nice prose n dialogue, cool themes. the sex is long n characterful n hot but there’s a surprising amount of ordeal before the two even meet. gets my rec
- 2026-04-07
- believing i should work on my projects every day and believing i need to take breaks to avoid burning out has created a mental device wherein i feel guilty whether i do something or not
- 2026-04-09
- people often ask me to elaborate but you have to understand that ambiguity is like lingerie for posts
- 2026-04-11
- do you think if rabbitgirls are in a hurry they tell each other to haul ears
- 2026-04-13
- i like ponies
- 2026-04-13
- sometimes you see a take that you want to preserve and study like an anthrax sample
- 2026-04-14
- Cutting Apart Scissor Statements
- 2026-04-15
- the fungus girl begins her speech with “burst and sporemost,
- 2026-04-16
- i can very easily see myself becoming addicted to editing sukuna’s dialogue bubbles to say stupid shit
- 2026-04-16
- still amuses me that the perfidious mind controllers and the bugs who jailbroke their brains to be unhackable are called “projectique” and “distortique” in black nerve. absolutely no etymological thought behind that suffix, just pure mystique.
- though i checked before making this post and apparently it’s a real french suffix
- 2026-04-16
- it’s so embarrassing to get a message, type out a reply, then spend minutes editing it, reworking and discarding ideas, and at last arrive at pretty much the same message but 10% better. starting to believe this overthinking thing doesnt quite pay off
- 2026-04-17
- never gets old when action protagonists think exasperatedly about how calmly they can battle the scariest life or death threats while simple social interactions make them nervous.
- heroic anxiety
- 2026-04-18
- i’m a fan of calling something “wrong both ways” when you get that fractal wrongness, a failure of thinking on multiple levels. i don’t think your premises are true and even if they were true i don’t think your conclusion follows. incorrect inside and out. nary of mote of understanding
- 2026-04-20
the aura filter really fucks you up
if you gain any control of how you come off to others, the initial results are rewarding. people think you’re cool, it feels great. you’re good at it, and you get better because you’re practicing the loop of saying a cool thing and impressing people
so you start aura farming
but of course, the double edge is if it feels good to seem cool, it feels awful to seem lame. all the worse if that person looked up to you, now you’re disappointing them, now you’re losing something that you worked so hard to earn
“does this make me seem cool” becomes a filter every thing you say passes through. if you have a whole lot of control over how you come off to others, you might be really suited to suppressing everything you might want to express except whatever benefits you
all socialization becomes a performance. it’s not easy, so you begin to talk less. this suits you; now you seem cool and reserved. your calculated remarks hit all the harder as they grow rarer.
at a certain point, someone says hi to you as soon you wake up, and you find yourself mad at them, because you just woke up and they’re already demanding you start performing? but you can’t say that. you got here because you know how you come off, so you know that sounds unhinged. but the feeling is there
you wonder how things ever went so wrong.
i don’t know what happens next
- 2026-04-20
- it would be cool if browser bookmarks were more featureful. for instance, when bookmarking a page, what if there was a checkmark letting you save your scrollbar position, letting you seamlessly resume reading? what if the browser hashed the textcontent of the page, and showed a little info popup if the page had changed since the last time you opened it? lot of possibilities here. sometimes it feels like a dead end feature because “a million tabs you never close” ate the world as the dominant browsing style
- 2026-04-20
i put two books in front of you and a gun to your head. the first book was written by a human in a language you can’t read, and so i have helpfully asked a LLM to translate it into english for you.
the second book was written by a human, every word, every punctuation mark. but that human spends hours every day talking to an LLM chatbot, relying on it as an important part of the research, brainstorming and feedback process. out of principle, they never let a single token into their final draft.
no nuance. you must pick one.
- i would rather read…
Final result from 43 votes Vote Result AI-translated book 83.7% AI-influenced book 16.3%
reblog for sample size
- 2026-04-21
- big blogpost tomorrow
- 2026-04-21
- the trouble with reading an article with footnotes is you’ll read to the end where a bunch of unclicked links hit you, like beating a level and getting shown all the collectibles you missed
- 2026-04-21
i like jjk’s concept of binding vows, but i also like going very in-depth when i worldbuild my magic systems. a few days ago, i wanted to spitball a quick mechanic i came up with. then it got a bit too long to post in a discord channel.
but hey, i have a tumblr, i can post about it there. but no all of you are familiar with concepts i take for granted, so i need to contextualize what i’m doing a bit more… whoops, now i have a long essay explaining some broad concepts for worldbuilding magic systems.
do vows work on the same logic that lets you cast fireball? there’s an important distinction to draw, and a lot of pitfalls to be wary of when a magic system gets too smart
i worked hard on this post, please enjoy it
- 2026-04-22
- in dms someone asked me what my favorite track from each cattle decapitation album is, and i ended up having a bit to say on the topic
- Monolith of Inhumanity: it’s gotta be “Kingdom of Tyrants”, right? when i discovered them ten years ago, those last two tracks were a surprising n compelling bit of gravity on a pretty fun album. now looking back, it kind of prefigured the rest of their career
- The Anthropocene Extinction: am i predictable if i say “Pacific Grim”? it always evokes some real sadness in me, and frankly, comparing MoI and TAE side by side, the earlier album feels like it has the more iconic and memorable track list, everything there is distinct. i recall moments from TAE, it’s a great cohesive album, but blends together and this feels the only track that rises above the rest. maybe it’s because i don’t listen to it much anymore? MoI is kind of a immature and uncharacteristic in a way that’s interesting to revisit, where TAE is modern CD, but they just… did this better going forward
- Death Atlas: going to break the trend, my favorite is not the title track at the end. something about that one always felt flawed and disappointing, despite being a very very good track, i can’t figure it out what it is. we allow you into it banger playlist but do not grant you the title of masterpiece. anyway, i’ve talked before how DA is peak CD to me, it’s my second favorite album of all time, it’s like like if you took the vision on my favorite tracks in the past two albums and magnified it to everything. with that said, my favorite is probably “Absolute Destitute”? of course, “Time’s Cruel Curtain” is a very close second, and there’s a whole list of runner ups i feel bad not praising, it absolutely fixes TAE’s problem of blending together, but you’ve listened to it, you know it’s peaksauce
- Terrasite: “Just Another Body” is easily their best finale track, i don’t have the same reservations about it, and i wouldn’t even feel bad picking it, it’s such a definive statement. as expected, the tracklist is again easily distinguished, but unlike with DA there’s not a whole list of tracks i want to uzipogpoint to. “Solastalgia” has got to be the only other contender, right? it’s the track that made me cry.
- 2026-04-22
- researching endocrinology before i work on the worldbuilding for the thrallification hormones in chrylurk venom
- 2026-04-23
i often think to myself, there should be more variety and expressiveness in the layout of articles and blogposts. and then i encounter actually existing variety and i seeth
pull quotes feel like an insult to me as a reader
- 2026-04-23
i wonder if we’re antecedent to a demise of pithiness as an expressive style. whenever i happen across a blogpost when lean, punchy writing — the sort that would take real effort and focus and hone — well. you already know what i’m actually thinking. it now provokes suspicion where before it almost engendered confidence.
thing is, i don’t think this is entirely pareidolic shadow jumping. it’s not just the aftertaste of paranoia that makes me still dissatisfied even after i have enough evidence to conclude i’m reading organic prose. the worry simply prompted reflection. i’m evaluating how much i actually value the strident and elliptical style that arises when one cuts and packs words with as much content as they can bear.
it’s meant to be engaging. this style demands attention, addressing the reader directly, forcefully, and presenting a clear hook, bidding you to keep reading. i can’t be the only one who finds this obnoxious, even when humans do it.
at some point the rejoiner to “don’t waste my time, get to the point” is “why are you writing like i’m a charmed animal about to fight or flee if you break mesmerism for one second?”
i’m growing weary of new subheadings every five hundred words. i’m weary of pull quotes. i’m weary of embedded images. i’m weary, even, of mere lists and bolding
- 2026-04-23
- today i read the introduction to a pop sci book on hormones and in explaining the scope of the book, it lists out various discoveries and practices related to discovery of hormones. it mentions hormone replacement therapy but does not once mention or allude to trans people
- at this point i put down my reader, open my desktop, and did a ctrl+f to see if there’s any mention at all. it looks like transitioning does get a whole chapter but it’s remarkable that the first use of the word “transgender” at all is in chapter fourteen
- finished reading the chapter, it’s decent. ultimately i dont think the omission is problematic, but it’s still odd to me. i can understand not centralizing it bc trans ppl are a small minority and not the main characters of endocrinology, but this is a pop sci book. if you’ve never heard of it, that transition is possible is wild and cool! the introduction is clearly meant to pique the reader, so leaving that hook on the table is hm.
- at this point i put down my reader, open my desktop, and did a ctrl+f to see if there’s any mention at all. it looks like transitioning does get a whole chapter but it’s remarkable that the first use of the word “transgender” at all is in chapter fourteen
- 2026-04-23
when will a victory over the sun come back from the war…
when will liturgy come back from the war…save me transfem black metal
- 2026-04-23
- i do support mental gymnastics as a recreational sport, though. the trouble is the people who try to go professional
- 2026-04-24
sometimes you wake up because the sleep process went unresponsive so you open task manager and oh look it’s running again
sometimes you wake up because the sleep process entered a bugged state and crashed and corrupted the file and you’re fucked
- 2026-04-26
cooked up a lil magic system and presented in one of those “spent $15 on your build” choice formats. only i added too many options so it’s more like spent $20
anyway read it and tell me what sort of evil snake wizard you choose to become Choose Your Venom-hex!
- 2026-04-26
- the “conversation via multi paragraph long vagueposts alluding to each other” has been going strong in my sphere lately
- 2026-04-27
- dipping my eyes in murder drones fanfic again and it seems fashionable to describe post-canon uzi’s eyes as ombré but that’s. not what that word means
- like very specifically both colors are bright almost-white tints
- there’s no shading
- it’s just a gradient
- 2026-04-27
- try opening the post in mold.reddit.com
- 2026-04-28
- this is small talk sukuna. he is curious about your life and would like to get to know you better. send small talk sukuna to your friends to start up a friendly conversation with them
- 2026-04-29
- imagine mimikyu with dollar sign eyes
- 2026-04-29
- last year i outlined a story, been fleshing it out, then i realized the protagnist’s new backstory is literally i used to be a knight alchemist like you, i could have been top five in the verse if i didnt take a spore to the knee
- 2026-04-29
- they call it a hyperfixation bc it’ll hyperfix me
- 2026-04-29
- “why do you have apostrophes tattooed around your lips” those are my goatation marks
- 2026-04-30
- dicepile combat
- 2026-04-30
- the berst part of writing a big blog post is writing footnotes in blood addressing all the stuff you’ve discussed with people commenting on it
2026-04-303.3k words